Sunday, June 6, 2010

Bible Study Lesson 4

I am struggling to complete this chapter. It's all about anger. I don't think I'm in touch with my feelings around this issue. I have to read ever question 4-5 times and still struggle to understand what I'm being asked. I feel like I have a mental block this chapter. It is frustrating and making me angry that I'm having so much trouble completing the questions. Which is making me think maybe I'm just not as in touch with my feelings around my miscarriage after all.

I'm also deeply struggling to concentrate. My guess is the Devil does not want me to complete this - I am trying so hard to push through. Because I have not completed everything I don't want to call in to the group tonight but I will because I know that I need this now more than ever. I want and need to process the stuff I keep hidden away in that dark place no one can see.

I am feeling a great sadness today and just really don't want to feel these deep feelings right now. I just want to put on my "I'm ok" mask and keep pushing through this life. God wants me to process this stuff, God wants me to have a closer relationship with Him. He doesn't want me to carry this burden alone. I will call into the group weather my pages are done or not maybe I'll be able to process more with the help of the ladies in the group tonight.

1 comment:

  1. I went through the study the last cycle, and I found it to be one of the best things I have done in my grief process. The questions, though, are so hard. I hope you guys have a good discussion tonight and you are able to draw on the strength of one another.