Thursday, December 17, 2009

Giving to God

Over the last week I have read and heard a number of messages that basically say give it to God, Give yourself to God, Turn it over to God. Today's message from Bob Perks - I wish you enough. Posed the question: "If I were there that sacred evening drawn by the light of the star of Bethlehem what gift would I offer Him?" Well based on all the messages God has sent my way over this week. I would only have myself to offer Him. My question is "Am I worthy to be His gift?"

He gave His son as my gift to live in this world, now my goal is to be a worthy gift to the Lord. As I work on changing the way I view myself and the world around me I noticed something. Why is it that the negative messages are given more power? In the news, in TV programs, even on the radio why is the focus on the bad things that happen in the world. If that focus was shifted to the positive would we all view ourselves in a better light? For women if the magazines didn't focus on the "perfect body" would we just accept ourselves as we are just as Jesus accepts us right were we are at. If the news focused on the reason for the season: the Lord of Lords would parents worry so much about getting that perfect toy for their child or would they just feel the blessing of having their family and friends gathered round.

I am working on bringing my focus back to the basics. God & Family. All the stuff just doesn't matter. Am I worthy of being presented to the Lord as a gift? Maybe not but I'm working on it. By being a vessel for His work, by giving thanks to Him for everything, by being a shining light in the darkness, I can be that worthy gift presented to Him.

Tristan was a perfect gift, never born into this world, never tarnished by the negative. I miss my little angel terribly but to think that God has used my loss of Tristan to make me into a worthy gift for Him (Lord). How amazing! If I pull my miscarriage into the light and view it out of the darkness. I see a gift from the Lord, a gift to mold and shape me into the person worthy of being presented to Jesus. My earthly body and mind long to hold Tristan, to hear him cry, laugh, to see his smile, to watch him grow. I some days ache with pain over my loss. But on the days when I fully turn my grief over to God those are the days I see clearly what a gift I have been presented with. Not in my time, in God's time. Let Go, Let God.

Jesus is the reason for the season. This helps remind me that thorough Jesus I can be a worthy gift not only to our Lord but to help spread the word of God through me. To stand up for what I believe. To live out the blessings, to share the experiences. God has been using me for His purpose from the very beginning of my creation. Every experience and brought me to the perfect place the perfect time to realize I am one of God's perfect gifts.

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