Thursday, September 30, 2010


So had a talk with my husband yesterday about starting the adoption process early or trying IUI. IUI is out because he said "it doesn't feel right" Adoption has to wait until January ("it's what we agreed on, it's the plan") Plans change, I didn't expect that my cycles would get so out of whack after the endo surgery. Today marks 50 days since the start of my last period. I've taken 6 pregnancy tests over that last 2 weeks all negative. Well then last night he said the one thing that could destroy me, He feels we aren't responsible enough to take care of ourselves and now doesn't want to bring a baby into it. REALLY?! are you kidding me? I am crushed and heartbroken. My dream has always been to be a mom and now my husband of 6 years has taken that away. I am truly lost on what my next step should be. I really wish that I would have known that I wasn't going to be having kids before I married him not after 6 years. I can't stop crying and my heart is shattered. Please pray for me and my husband, I need God's guidance and comfort more than ever.


  1. Oh Amanda...I'm so, so sorry...I don't even know what to say because I can't imagine having such different pages to be on with my husband...and I know that there are so many emotions on both sides. I will lift you and Paul up and pray for your coming together and your heart.
    Sending love and prayers, friend!

  2. Praying for you and for him and for God's will and God's wants and desires to fill BOTH of your hearts.

  3. I'm so very, very sorry, Amanda. You are in my prayers. xoxo

  4. I'm so sorry Amanda. You and Paul will be in my prayers.

  5. Amanda,

    I'm so very sorry to hear this. You and your husband are in my prayers. As I pray, I will believe that God has a big miracle in store for you!!!

  6. Amanda - I just got done reading your blog. Thank you for sharing your journey!

    Have you gotten other opinions on your condition? The reason I ask is because after my girlfriend struggled with endrometriosis and had the surgery to remove it all, her doctor gave her drugs to put her through menopause for a year, and then took her off. For whatever reason, that seemed to do the trick. She conceived 5 months after getting out of menopause and spending some time on birth control to regulate her hormones.

    Sorry for the long post. Just some thoughts.
    Jamie @