Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Newest Development

So the doctor did call me to talk about the results, they found a growth similar to what I had when they found the Endometriosis the first time. She also ordered some blood work be done to check hormone levels. well my progesterone levels are too low, she doesn't think I ovulated last month. Why am I taking drugs to help with this that make me crazy if they aren't working? I just don't understand. I too believe the Endo is back because I've been very tired, having back pain and I've had pains similar to period pains for the last 2-3 weeks.

the decision I've made: time for a new doctor. I will be calling Dr. NeeOo Chin today to see if I can get an appointment. I think it's time to see a reproductive endocrinologist instead of my Ob/Gyn.

What a journey this has been - as I learn more about Endometriosis I'm starting to feel like mine was not treated properly and it was 100% going to come back because of it. You put your trust in your doctor because you don't know any better. I'm not the one who went to school for this, but I'm starting to get the feeling that you almost have to become your own doctor because they are not honest with you and if it's something they are not familiar with, shouldn't they refer you to another doctor that is? I'm frustrated, angry and hurt. I need to forgive so this doesn't weigh on me. I truly believe that my path is adoption but my heart longs to carry my child inside of me. I read something yesterday that said "The world says to follow your heart, but if you are not leading it, then someone or something else is" Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is more deceitful than all else is

So I am now going to choose to Lead my heart and not Follow it. Following it just hurts too much.

5 comments:

  1. Amanda,

    The positive is that you have made a decision to see an RE. When I transitioned from OB to RE, progress was made. I can not tell you how happy I am that you've made this decision.

    Sending you prayers and a BIG HUG
    xxx

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  2. Amanda, I am completely with you! You need to see an RE, as much as an OB wants to help you and tries to know, they don't have the same kind of knowledge. If you are anywhere near a Sher Institute for Reproductive Medicine, go to them!!! Mine has been amazing and the whole staff is amazing. My second bit of advice, if you go to one and you don't like them, remember there are tons more out there. I let my first RE experience ruin me for a LONG time on REs, and that's not fair. Not to the good ones, or to myself! I'm praying for you on this journey, as I know you're struggling!!! There is hope!! Remember that! You do have to take control and be your biggest advocate!! Lots of love!

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  3. You pretty much have to be your own dr and advocate. I'm glad you've chosen to see a RE.

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  4. GOOD decision!!! Not that your OB may not be wonderful, but as you said, they just don't have the same fertility knowledge. I wish, wish, WISH I knew then (11 years ago!) what I know now...I stayed with my OB for TWO YEARS of clomid cycles...because he was clueless and I was clueless about his cluelessness. In my defense, the internet was SO not as great or big then, but still....I just get sick sometimes when I think of all the time wasted and the things done to my body for naught...

    You will be SO much happier with an RE. I'm so hopeful and prayerful for you!
    <3 <3

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